Whose point of view??

Writing 101, Day Nine: Changing Moccasins — Point of View

A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Write this scene.

Today’s twist: write the scene from three different points of view: from the perspective of the man, then the woman, and finally the old woman.

The Man

I remember the first time I came here when I was in high school. It was a crisp fall day just like today and I was day dreaming about what my life would be like if only I could graduate and leave this small town. There had to be more to life than getting up every day and going to work and then coming home – there just had to be more out there. Hummm, well I left this small town for many years but something kept drawing me back here. Was it her face when I told her goodbye that day? Was it my brain finally kicking in and telling me where I really needed to be? Was it my mother remarrying and moving away? I stand here waiting for her to show up; it was so hard to call her when I came back. What should I say, should I apologize, should I just ignore how we parted?

Today I look around and see things that are so important to me. This town is part of me, the only strange thing that’s happened is it seems that there’s a shadow of some kind always looking over my shoulder. Not that I’m afraid, it seems to be warm and loving and just now I caught a glimpse of a shadow on the bench across from me, I wonder what it is.

When I got the courage to call I couldn’t believe she was happy to hear from me and agreed to meet me here. Of all the places in town, and she’s the one who suggested it. Oh wow, it’s been 25 years and she hasn’t aged a day. I wonder if she knows how much I still love her, there’s never been anyone else. She stands there with the sun shining in her eyes and smiles at me and holds out her hand “welcome home…lets take a walk”.

The Woman

Oh Lord, why did I agree to meet him today, and at the park of all places? It seems like only yesterday that he said goodbye and flew to LA. To me it seemed like a million miles away. No calls, no contact at all. Oh yes, I knew what he’d been doing thanks to his mother who saw through my smiles all these years. Even with my career there was always a hole in my heart. It seems all these years it’s like something or someone keeps telling me “be patient, it will all work out”.

The last few days have been happy and sad. When he called and said he was back to stay I couldn’t believe it. I know he had come back to look at selling his home place after his mother moved away. Seems like he decided this is where he needs to be after all.

As I enter the park I look around for him and see a bench occupied by what looks like a shadow of a person… she smiles and points across the way and I see him. He looks like a little boy lost; Lord knows I still love him. It’s all I can do to move forward and hold out my hand and watch his face light up.

The Old Woman

I can’t believe they can really see me. I’ve been gone so long from this earthly plane, I wondered why I kept returning to this place over the years. She had to be the reason, she was so sad all those years ago when he left. I did all I could to comfort her and try to steer him back. You know there’s only so much one can do as a spirit if you don’t want to scare the *&#$ out of someone. I left all those little hits and memories in his head and around wherever he was but I was beginning to wonder it he wasn’t too thick headed to realize what he was missing. Now the girl, on the other hand, no trouble at all, just “be patient” I always said, “it will work out”.

Looks like I was right, now it’s time to get some rest for these old ghostly bones. I haven’t had this much of a workout since…..

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3 responses to “Whose point of view??

  1. Ha! I love a good twist. These three-view tales always work best when you save a twist for last. The ghost angle hadn’t occurred to me when I was brainstorming, but I like it.
    I tried something similar, though not with the old woman:
    http://ariamythe.wordpress.com/2014/06/13/intersectionality-w101/

  2. Enjoyed it very much…specially the ‘spiritual’ twist 😀

  3. Pingback: The Sweater | Suddenly they all died. The end.

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