Tag Archives: dreams

Merry Christmas!

The tree was decorated with the help of the three year old grandson.  He was never happy with it, kept saying it needed more lights and things.  So of course we kept adding and adding, but he was happy.

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He said he wanted a winter wonderland with my Christmas houses, but of course he had to add a train.  His big brother put his train up for him.  I thought he was going to add some of his Thomas the Train trains to it but he didn’t.

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On Friday after we got the decorations done it all caught up with me and I was sick.  Blood pressure up very high for the first time in about seven years and on Saturday morning – it was bad- I spent 1/2 day in the local Emergency Room.  Guess I have to deal with this crap again, and with classes starting back in a couple of weeks it couldn’t have happened at a worse time.

Even with the trials of Autism/Asperger’s being around, I am so thankful for my grandchildren to be as healthy as they are.  I can always look around and see others that are not doing as well.  Sometimes when the meltdowns hit we neglect to see the positives.  I think that we sometimes let ourselves get overloaded with what is going on in our lives and forget that we have it so much better than a lot of others.

Merry Christmas to all!!

Merry Christmas to all!!

The last 45 years… a trip down memory lane

My how the world has changed over the last 45 years. Yep, this year I have been out of high school for 45 years, graduated in 1969. Thinking about a couple of school reunions coming up in the next two months made my mind drift back to all the things we did (or didn’t do) as teenagers and young adults. We didn’t have a TV until I was a senior in high school so there wasn’t a lot of TV watching at my house. I listened to the radio a lot –

transistor radiosBurnt up a lot of those small transistor radios listening to WLS Chicago. Played a lot of records 45’s and more on the little portable record players. We thought we were on top of the world if we had a portable record player that we could grab up and take from room to room or even outside.portable record player Then it was the 8track players, then the cassettes, then the cd’s and the Walkman and on to the MP3’s imagesR7HFFRD0    ipod-nano-4th-generation-2B   and IPods.

 

Now if I want to walk on the treadmill I just plug my phone in and play music through the speakers on the treadmill. Yep this is my next phone, just ordering it…. The Amazon Fire.

It’s pretty amazing that this little phone can do everything the big IBM computer I worked on back in the early 80’s could do and SOOO much more. Hard to believe all the changes just in this little bit of technology.

The changes at the schools I went to are sad in so many ways. The high school in Park City, KY is no more, torn down and only an elementary school there now Park City High School    The school I graduated from in Leipers Fork (Franklin, TN) is gone for the most part, office is gone, home ec building is gone. Cafeteria and gym and a few classrooms left now.  Hillsboro School      That’s where we have our reunions and remember that no matter how bad we thought it was back then, we really had it good and were too young and foolish to realize it.

Don’t get me started on the cars, used to be able to fix a car with your hands and a few tools. Now it’s mostly computers running them to and you need a degree to figure some of it out along with specialized tools. Take a 2003 Dodge 1500 – trying to replace an oil pump takes an act of congress…. Well ya got to pull the front half of the motor off anyway and then there’s the three – yes 3 – timing chains. I remember learning to drive in a 1955 Chevrolet that seemed to stay broken down more than Jerry could keep it on the road running. Always seemed to be a problem with the gears and the linkage, etc. Wish I had that old 55 right now, it would be a lot better than the stuff we have around now. At least it wasn’t made of fiberglass and would take a hit without flying in 50 different directions. While I love the technology and what is supposed to be better on gas, it just doesn’t seem to make much sense some days. I paid $2.89 a gallon today for gas and that was with more than $ .30 a gallon off with my Shell Fuel Rewards card. That $ .35 per gallon is just a distant faint memory these days

Most of us had a pretty good childhood whether we are willing to admit it or not. We played outside without having to worry about someone snatching us. We had chores to do but we also reaped the rewards of hard work. Working in the garden, or tobacco fields or hay fields, taking care of the chickens, hogs, cattle, horses, etc. – it all had to be done and we did it and we played hard too. I don’t ever recall being bored and most of the readers of my generation will probably agree with me. Now all I hear out of my grandkids is I am bored, but they don’t want to work or do chores or do anything except sit on their butts and play video games.

I hope within the next year or so this will become a working farm. Fencing should be done by then and horses here as well as a few head of cattle, maybe a goat or two and some chickens. Definitely planning on a garden, need to become more self-sufficient for sure.  Till then I’ll just keep my memories close.

See ya on the flip side, have a Happy, Sunny week my friends.  smiley

A Novel Idea…..

Why is it so hard to sit down and write??? The words are there, I just can’t seem to make them go down like I want them to. I have been trying to focus on work this week and now trying to get into working on my novel. The novel is really a work in progress for sure. And, it is not progressing along very well. Maybe it’s just time to put it up again and start on another project that might be less painful. I really need to focus on something that doesn’t tear me apart inside when I get into it. Maybe this is not such good therapy after all. This is just not happening now. Moving on….

Random thoughts… family, friends and fun

Now that Writing 101 is over where’d my motivation go????? First two Criminal Justice classes are finished and don’t have another one starting till mid-August. Guess I need to try to concentrate on getting some work done and trying to make some money somewhere here. Not going to do much today though. Going to take a day or two and just chill some.

What did you do yesterday to celebrate our Nations Birthday? I hope everyone had a fun filled day with family and friends.

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Finally got the pool moved and patched and set back up and finished mowing the yard. Little grandkids had fun in it yesterday, which makes it all better when they have fun and laugh and play. Kids did fireworks last night and enjoyed themselves I hope. I was stuck inside most of the night studying and getting ready to take a final exam in one of the classes that ended.

I think I am going to go for a rambling drive after a while and take a few pictures.

Treasures

Writing 101, Day Twenty: The Things We Treasure

For our final assignment, tell the tale of your most-prized possession. If you’re up for a twist, go long — experiment with long form and push yourself to write more than usual.

I have a lot of “things” that I treasure. A lot of collectibles that can’t be replaced etc. What I treasure most are the memories I have of my parents, my other family members that have gone on and of my children and grandchildren when they were little. I still have a small grandchild that makes memories for me daily and those I treasure as well. I think if we stop and look around us we will realize that it’s not the material things that we have that we should treasure. Yes, our possessions are important and most of us worked hard for what we have and as I’ve said a lot of what we have probably couldn’t be replaced. However, those things mean very little to nothing in the grand scheme of our lives. What means the most, or what should be mean the most is our families and our faith in whoever or whatever each of us believes in as a higher power. Speaking for myself, it is my family and my faith in God that I treasure beyond all else.

I have those “things” that I enjoy and like to have around – you know the sports stuff for us die hard, bleed blue Kentucky Wildcat fans or Tennessee Titan fans. Some of things grace my walls and all I have to do is look up from this computer and see the big blue UK logo or prints of football and basketball players. The Native American prints on my walls along with the pictures of my grandchildren, those are all things that are important to me but I can live without them.

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At the end of the day what I treasure more than anything is when my grandkids tell me good night and give me a kiss and hug, those little arms around your neck make all the other crap worthwhile and can make a horrible day into a pretty good one.   smiley

Twelve year olds point of view….

 

Writing 101, Day Eighteen: 

Craft a story from the perspective of a twelve-year-old observing it all. For your twist, focus on specific character qualities, drawing from elements we’ve worked on in this course, like voice and dialogue. The neighborhood has seen better days, but Mrs. Pauley has lived there since before anyone can remember. She raised a family of six boys, who’ve all grown up and moved away. Since Mr. Pauley died three months ago, she’d had no income. She’s fallen behind in the rent. The landlord, accompanied by the police, have come to evict Mrs. Pauley from the house she’s lived in for forty years.

Today’s prompt: write this story in first person, told by the twelve-year-old sitting on the stoop across the street.

Today I came out on the front stoop for a while. It’s been really hot and stormy outside and mom wouldn’t let me come out in the storms. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the police and the landlord next door. Poor ole Ms. Pauley, I don’t know what she’s going to do. Mr. Landlord said she couldn’t pay her rent and he couldn’t let her stay any longer. I wonder where all those boys are hers are, why can’t they help her out. I know I would if I had any money, that’s what I told the man and the policeman too. I think he kinda felt sorry for her but I guess he’s just doing his job. Forty years is a long time, I can’t even understand how long, I can’t imagine it. It seems like it’s been forever since I turned 12 and that was just a few months ago.

She used to make cookies and ask me to come over and eat cookies and drink milk with her. Man, those chocolate chip cookies would melt in your mouth, wish I had one right now and a big cold glass of milk. Somebody has got to do something about this, it’s just not right. I gotta go get Momma, she’ll know what to do. “Momma, momma, where are you?” I listen, she’s on the phone with somebody telling them what is going on next door. When she hangs up, she’s smiling and runs out the door to stop the landlord. She just told them that she was on the phone with one of Ms. Pauley’s sons. He had no idea that his mother couldn’t pay her bills and was coming to get her and take her with him until they could get it straightened out. I was so scared for Ms. Pauley, now I know she’ll be ok and she even told me she’d send me some cookies. Whew, had me worried there.7

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Facing fears

Writing 101, Day Seventeen:

What are you scared of?  Address one of your worst fears.   If you’re up for a twist, write this post in a style that’s different from your own.

I am afraid to not being there for my kids and grandkids, or something happening and I can’t fix it for them. I know that I can’t fix everything or take care of everything for them. I’ve always been the caretaker and it is hard to let it go and not keep wanting to do it. When I was working full time I could more afford to do that but now I can’t and that really bothers me. I can spend more time with them now and hopefully that makes up for some other things. When kids are used to getting everything they want and more too from you it is hard for them to understand sometimes that things change. I am afraid of what will happen to them when I am no longer here, and I hate putting these words on paper. It just makes me face those fears more than I want to.

I am afraid that I won’t be able to handle my classes that I have signed up for. I have been sick this week and when I get this upper respiratory mess it takes me about a month to get back to whatever is normal for me. I won’t say normal, because as you guys have figured out by now, there’s nothing “normal” here… I had to withdraw from a class that was starting this week because I’m still trying to finish two other classes, write two papers and study for final exams.

What else am I afraid of?  I am afraid that something will happen to one of my grandkids, I’ve come close to losing two of them already and lost one shortly after birth. I am afraid that something will happen to one of my sons, came very close twice with my younger son years ago when he was a teenager. When you lose a child/grandchild I think you face your own mortality and don’t like what you see.

I have to force myself to deal with these fears and not let them consume me. I don’t dwell on them, I can’t, if I did I couldn’t function and take care of work, school and day to day “stuff”. We all have these same fears in some form or another, the key is figuring out how to deal with them.

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